Uncertainty and Confusion as a Gateway to Presence

Uncertainty and Confusion as a Gateway to Presence, LVBX Magazine
Life is difficult and life is beautiful. Both are true.

This is part of the richness of life, but I often struggle against this simple truth and only want the good stuff. Like wanting to skip my peas and carrots and move straight to the chocolate ice cream, it doesn’t work out well in the long run.

Especially when I am faced with a decision I don’t want to make. My knee jerk reaction is to blame someone for putting me in this position. I get confused, feeling like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I find myself wondering, “How do they not get it?”

Alan Cohen defines confusion as “the last stop on the way to clarity” and “the part of your mind that thinks it knows it all butting up against a bigger idea.” I think he’s right, because when I finally surrender and stop arguing to be right about what is wrong, wisdom has room to step in.


I remember that I don’t have all the answers – even when my plan of action is smart, lines up with common practice and has been tried and tested over the years. Yes, even then, there may be other possibilities.

And when I can create enough space between a trigger and my reaction, the bigger possibilities can emerge. And it’s a beautiful thing.

Life is difficult and life is beautiful. Both are true.

Deborah DensonDeborah Denson is a Mediator and Conflict Coach in Nashville, TN. She shares her personal journey learning to manage conflict and life in general on her blog, where she combines original art and wit into a daily dose of insight and humor for readers.



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